Meaningless tests, part 6x9

I've always knew this!


Which Genocidal Maniac Am I?


Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

What bird did the Soviet Union like best? That's right, you're Josef Stalin!

Stalin's actually a stage moniker - your real last name is Dzhugashvili, but you changed it for political reasons. These days, someone called Stalin wouldn't reach power either; following the death of Lenin in 1924, you decided to be a big old fascist, declaring it to be roughly the same as socialist democracy anyway.

Unfortunately, the Chechens didn't particularly want to be part of your social-fascist state, and continually revolted from 1918 to 1944, demanding their freedom. You then wiped out 35 to 50% of their population. (Chechnya is still demanding to be free today, and had been demanding to be free before the Soviet Union was established. To date around a million Chechens have been forced to leave their homes.)

You ruled with an iron glove and a teflon moustache until your death in 1953, scaring the pants off America and pretty much everyone else in the west. Pretty good going, for an evil dictator.




Which Evil Criminal Am I?


Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

You ruled Chile from 1973 to 1990, and are responsible for the abduction, torture, disappearance, and execution of thousands upon thousands of political opponents. When you first took power in 1973, you embarked upon a programme delightfully named the Caravan of Death, which extracted prisoners from the country's jails and executed them. Victims were sodomised, blinded, starved and electrocuted, amongst other things, hundreds and hundreds of times in just the two years between 1988 and 1990.

You also were allied with Britain in the Falklands war during the 1980s; Margaret Thatcher, then the Prime Minister of Britain, has said that it owes you a great debt.



Which Horrible Affliction Am I?


Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

Congratulations, you're the bubonic plague!

You're infamous. You're usually deadly when left untreated. You're spread by a flea.

That's how cool you are.